I also wanted to learn more about how to help my child become their most authentic self. As we know, children do not come with a “how-to” manual. Parents today, whether just starting their parenting journey or navigating life with teens or young adults, now have the gift of a brand new book. “Gender Explained,” written by Diane Ehrensaft and Michelle Jurkiewicz, aims to help them deepen their understanding of how children experience their gender and how to support their children’s full and authentic expression of their gender.

The Human Rights Campaign Foundation recently published findings from the first-ever 2024 Report on the Experiences of Parents of Transgender and Non-binary Children. One key finding is that the majority of parents are supportive of their child’s gender identity, but they report difficulty in finding accurate information and resources to help guide them. Furthermore, our most recent national survey of LGBTQ+ teens found that nearly 60% of trans or non-binary teens understood they did not identify as cisgender before the age of 13. Many of the members from our Parents for Trans Equality Council have shared that their children could tell them as soon as they were verbal—3 or 4 years old in some cases. They expressed that they are “not a girl,” “not a boy,” or something other than what was designated at birth. “Gender Explained” serves as a guide for parents of children across many ages and stages. It can provide the insight and language parents desperately need to talk to their children and other family members about their child’s gender journey.

The authors, Diane Ehrensaft and Michelle Jurkiewicz, are a multi-generational team of experts. Diane is a clinical psychologist who has been in practice over four decades and is one of the clinicians who established the first “gender-affirming model” in 2008. Since then, she has published multiple books and articles on this topic and is an internationally recognized expert, drawing largely from her direct clinical practice with children and families.

Michelle is a clinical psychologist and has been working in the field for over 20 years. She's worked specifically with transgender and gender diverse children, youth, and their families since 2008, largely before there was an official Gender-Affirmative Model, which she continues to train new clinicians in.

Together, Diane and Michelle have dedicated their careers to listening to children talk about gender and, in turn, helping parents be their best at raising gender-diverse children.

“Gender Explained” brilliantly breaks down gender diversity, a complicated topic it digestible for a general audience. The book includes anecdotes from years of the authors’ direct clinical work with children of all ages and an overview of the research that can help guide parents in applying the best approach to gender-affirming parenting. What’s unique about this book is that the authors contextualize all of the content in the reality of the moment we are in; they recognize the general impact of anti-trans legislation, anti-trans rhetoric, and transphobia on the daily experiences parents face when trying to figure out what their children’s needs, they understand the misinformation and disinformation that can confuse and scare parents and other caregivers, and they recognize that for many people, especially older folks, the topic of gender—or being something other than cisgender––can be uncomfortable.

“Gender Explained” is one of the solutions to what parents told us in our survey; this book answers most of the questions parents have about gender, whether their child is identifying as trans, non-binary, or simply expressing their gender creatively or expansively. It is easy to read, having been written with compassion and understanding, and it silences all of the noise of the outside world that often leaves parents with more questions than answers. We know that trans children do best when they are supported and affirmed at home—that is the key ingredient to thriving in all areas of life, and this book is a key ingredient for parents to build that foundation.